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Girl's Circle
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HERE FOR PRINTABLE VERSION]
A
powerful method for helping girls grow and support one another.
Objective:
To create a place where girls can support one another and strengthen
their voice.
Format:
Group discussion. A topic is chosen by either a facilitator or the
girls themselves, and certain "group agreements" get established
(see below). A time limit is set (30-50 minutes), the agreements
are reviewed and the discussion begins. Girls have a great tradition
of talking and sharing verbally, but are not always encouraged to
develop their own opinions, or "voice."
Popular Topics:
·Loyalty ·Friendship ·Self-esteem ·Parents ·Boys ·Admired female
role models. Girls often struggle with issues of loyalty and betrayal,
friendship and self-esteem.
Procedure:
The tips below are essential success. Remember that as important
as what the girls say is the process -how the girls respect, encourage
and support one another as they develop and strengthen their individual
voices. Keeping the group agreements is crucial to the process!
Specific
Steps:
- Whenever
you meet with girls, whether they are four or fourteen, have them
sit in a circle. By sitting this way, every girl sees every other
girl in the group. Each girl should have her own space in the
circle and not be sitting on top of or hanging all over another
girl. The idea is for each child to participate fully, without
distractions. Girls may choose to sit in chairs or on the floor,
but each girls should have a place in the circle.
- Adult facilitators
should sit across from one another, not side by side. Not only
does this give the adults greater exposure to the girls by spreading
out, it allows facilitators to see one another during the meeting
and signal each other in response to any change in the course
of the meeting or any "infraction" of the meeting "rules."
- Every meeting
should begin with a review of the agreements the girls make for
how the meeting is to be conducted. These rules should be written
on a piece of poster board or paper and held up at each gathering
of the group. The agreements might sound like the following:
a.) One girl speaks at a time. For younger or more impulsive
girls, use a pine cone, sea shell or similar object (not a stick
or a stone) to hold while talking. The person with the object
speaks. The adult facilitator always controls the object, giving
it out and then getting it back after each girl speaks.
b.) Each girl speaks for herself. Girls have a habit of
speaking for one another or deferring to the thoughts or statements
of others. As we have seen, girls often give up their own "voice"
in the process. This is an important agreement that will need
to be gently enforced.
c.) Respect what each person says. This is another way
of saying, "No put downs." It is important to create and maintain
an environment where girls can feel heard and not judged.
d.) What gets said here, stays here. This agreement helps
promote safety in the group by keeping what gets shared from being
turned into "gossip." Facilitators may want to amend this agreement
by stating that, as caring adults, they, too, will respect the
girls' privacy; but will, of course, do whatever needs to be done
to keep the girls safe. If a girl shares anything that has to
do with hurting herself or another, this cannot be kept a "secret"
by an adult leader.
Other Tips:
- When you
first meet, have the girls generate their own meeting "agreements."
- Have the
girls generate, then agree on their own topic for discussion.
Stick to one topic per meeting.
- Hand out
two or three pebbles or beads (beads are a great choice for girls!),
which each girl puts into the center of the group as she takes
her "turn." This helps to keep one or two more vocal girls from
dominating discussion. Once each girls has used her "turns," she
must wait until everyone has had at least one turn before she
gets another bead.
The Job of
the Facilitator:
- To encourage
participation by listening and remaining non-judgmental.
- To validate
what a girl may think or feel.
- To actively
keep the meeting agreements.
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