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404 Park Ave. So.
Suite 1304
New York, NY 10016
P: 1-888-465-CAMP
F: 1-212-974-7850
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Handouts from New England Fall Conference 10/19/01

- Boys Rap
- Closing Circle
- Counselor Group Skills
- Courage Beads
- Girls Circle

Handouts from JCCA Professional Conference 11/4/01-11/07/01

- Where Camps are Vulnerable
- Gender-Related Behavior
- WORKING EFFECTIVELY WITH PARENTS


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bob ditter / experts newsletter
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Working Effectively with Parents
Creating and Maintaining a Partnership

[CLICK HERE FOR PRINTABLE VERSION]

Awareness (What are the underlying issues for parents)
Language (What are the key words and phrases that strengthen a partnership or defuse an adversarial relationship)
Strategies (How do we approach parents in way that are productive and in the true spirit of partnering with them).

being a professional: Managing ones own personal reactions, likes and dislikes in service of the work that is to be done

  • when parents make us "wrong"
  • when we feel our competence is being attacked or questioned
  • when we over-identify with children or their situation

parents often lead with their solution
("My daughter needs more math worksheets!" "I don't want my child in that group!")

we often enter the discussion arguing about the merits of that request
or proposed solution, rather than finding out what the concern is and creating a more palatable solution together.

remember to come up for AIR:
Acknowledge the request/Affirm the concern
Investigate/Inquire
Respond

common denominator: what is it you and the parent both want?
For the child to be a successful participant, successful member of the class or activity group, successful member of the camp community.

feel, felt, found
When parents through you a complaint or are upset, this phrase helps to take parents where they begin and move them forward. "I know how you must feel, Mrs. P; many parents have felt the same way; (I have sometimes felt the same way); but what we have found is…."

not that but this (ntbt!)
When parents make a request or demand that you feel you can not comply with, sometimes saying, "Well, we can't do that, but how about this?" is a way to move forward while maintaining your mission or values and yet giving parents something they can feel good about.

being a resource/source of knowledge for parents
(knowledgeable about child development and how these issues may be playing themselves out in school or in the child's behavior)

educating parents
(knowing about "code," which is behavior with a message; knowing how children learn best or most effectively; knowing appropriate developmental milestones)

reframing (acknowledging the positive intent)
finding what the "good reasons" were for behavior and acknowledging them so as to move forward.

Robert B. Ditter, M.Ed., LCSW
72 Montgomery Street·Boston, Ma 02116
tel.617-572-3353 fax.617-572-3373
e-mail: bobditter@bunk1.com

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